When we moved to Spain in 2015, we had been living in Georgetown, Texas since 1987 (with one short sojourn in Bryan) and I had been in the same job for 19 years, so it had been a while since I had had to find my way in a new situation. Being an introvert was both a positive and a negative for me. As an introvert and happy to be a little lazy after a lifetime of working, I really didn't have any angst about spending a lot of time sitting around the apartment and reading. At the same time, I have always had a few close friends, and I missed those interactions.
In the past I met people at church, at work, and participating in volunteer groups. As a lifetime Episcopalian, I was sad to learn there are no Anglican churches in Toledo, and in fact really our only option was an English church, St. George's in Madrid. Before we came we thought we would go to Madrid most Sundays to attend church there, but without a car, we soon realized that the round trip by bus (down to the bus station), bus (to Madrid), and metro could take close to eight hours! We do go sometimes, but not enough to really be a part of that community. We sometimes attend church at one of the Roman Catholic churches here, but the church here doesn't seem to be as much about community as we are used to in the States. And of course I'm no longer working, so no meeting people at work.
John, an extrovert who likes nothing better than to meet new people, started meeting people almost immediately by sitting down in neighborhood bars, drinking a beer, and talking to whoever was there. By asking questions about politics and local history and events, he quickly gathered a group of "geezer" friends who he often ran into in several watering holes around town. I'm not much of a bar goer, and really those kinds of gatherings are more male oriented anyway, so that wasn't a solution for me. On the other hand, I did get to know the deli guy, the butcher, and the veg guy at the local market pretty quickly! And we can't forget our friendly neighborhood mazapan guy (mazapan is an almond candy like marzipan which is very typical of Toledo). In addition to selling us mazapan, he is always ready with a recommendation when we needed someone to repair an electrical plug, etc.
John was also on the hunt for musicians to play with, and his technique of attending live shows and talking to the musicians afterwards finally bore fruit, although it took almost a year. Once he started playing live though, he met more and more musicians, and was invited to help out with various projects, and now he knows pretty much all of the local musicians. In the last week he has even been interviewed for two different radio shows. And, I have met quite a few people through his friendships with other musicians. I won't say we're close friends, but I enjoy talking to the other guys in the band, and their families, and I know a lot of people to kiss on the cheek when we meet these days!
Eventually, though, we found ways for me to meet and make friends with more local folks. One of our breakthroughs was to start attending English language practice sessions (called Tertulias) at a local restaurant bar, as their token American English speakers. Over time we have become friends with a number of the attendees, and they often will come sit with me when John is playing so I don't have to sit by myself. As a spin off of that I have also made friends with a woman I met at the Tertulia who recently retired from teaching English. She wanted to be able to keep her English up, and I needed more Spanish language practice, so we arranged to meet weekly for language exchange. At first we tried to speak English for an hour and then Spanish for an hour, but that felt artificial, so we switched to one week speaking English at my house, and the next week speaking Spanish at hers. As it turns out, we have a lot in common, and we are becoming friends beyond the language practice sessions.
Another activity that has brought both John and me a lot of gratification is volunteering with Down Toledo, a group for support of individuals with Down Syndrome and their families. We meet once a week at the library with their easy reading book club where everyone takes turns reading out loud (me too!) and then we all go out to breakfast together afterwards. We have become quite attached to the "chicos", as well as their teacher and the other volunteers. They are taking the summer off from the book club, and we're missing them!
Another way that I have found to meet people has been by rejoining Rotary here. I didn't do it the first year we were here, but when a Rotary friend visited and wanted to attend the local Rotary Club meeting last fall, I took her, and then found myself going back to visit until they asked me to join. It's a very small club (six of us), and there are still times when I have trouble understanding what is going on when everyone starts talking at once, but they are nice folks, and will stop and explain when I ask, or if they notice I'm looking confused. Because I was a Rotarian for so many years, they have faith that I will be able to make a contribution. I hope so!
One thing I haven't been able to replace here is my book club, but most months I Skype with my book club back in Texas while they are meeting. I enjoy the conversation and discussion of the books, but don't get to enjoy the meals. And with the time difference, I'm up until around 4:00 a.m. on those days! Still, it's nice to be able to keep in touch.
So, the net result of all this is that during the school year I have three or four set appointments a week, which is enough to keep me out and meeting people, but not enough to wear me out. During the summer much of this grinds to a halt, but since we have been spending about a month back in the States during the summer, and the heat makes staying in and reading attractive, that's OK.
[Point of irony, I was spending a quiet evening at home working on this post while John was out playing, when my friend with whom I do the language exchange called to say she and her husband were going out for a drink with friends and I should come join them. Despite my attempts to politely beg off, I found myself heading out at 10:00 p.m. to catch a bus down to the Poligono (one of the neighborhoods outside the wall) to join them (and hear John's band in the distance).]
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